Bella's Summer
by LaurenSimone
Summary: Takes place during the summer before wedding. Bella wants to make her last human months last, and with Edward caving, things could get hot! Rated M for very suggestive themes and lots of steam. R&R!
1. A new Idea

Mmm. Edward's bedroom.

Probably one of my favorite places since I've been allowed to sleep over without feeling guilty lying to Charlie. Even though he didn't like it (he didn't feel bad expressing his exact opinion about my fiancee in front of me... and him) he now let me sleep over as long as Carlisle or Esme were there, and we didn't lock his door.

So I couldn't help but smile as my eyelids fluttered open and saw Edward's perfect smiling face in front of me. I kept my mouth tightly shut, because morning breath was bad enough without Edward's vampire senses being able to smell it even if I was across the room.

He gently kissed my nose and murmured, "Good morning, Bella. Breakfast?"

Ahh. The best thing to hear in the morning, without a doubt, is your own personal angel. I nodded, still smiling, and held up a finger before I ran into the bathroom. The hardwood floor was chilly, so I skipped quickly down the hall until I reached the never-used bathroom (with the exception of Rosalie, who used it to look in the mirror every hour or so.)

I grabbed a brush off of the counter and quickly ran it through my hair that was sticking up and kinking strangely. I guess I should have blow dried my hair before laying down on Edward's bed with wet hair and letting it dry as I slept.

I wet my fingers on one hand and tried to straighten my brown locks as best I could while brushing my teeth with my other. Where was Alice when you really-

"Morning Bells," Alice said as she suddenly appeared with a straightener. "How'd ya sleep?"

I smiled and said, around my toothbrush, "Pretty Good. Edward makes sure I do, he doesn't wanna do anything else." Though I'm sure it sounded like, "Pree guh. Ehwarh maih sure I oo, he osn' wahn oo anyinh ell," all the while dripping minty foam from my mouth.

Alice understood and pressed the hot iron to my scalp, ignoring my wince. "Bella... I'm sure he WANTS to. But I'm also sure he DOESN'T want YOU to. But I'm almost positive that if..." she trailed off, her eyes glazing over. After a few seconds she said, "Actually, I AM positive that we are going out tonight. See you later." And with a stroke to my eyelashes with a mascara wand I didn't know she had, she left.

I looked in the mirror. In the minute Alice had been in here, she had made me look better than I did most school days. I smiled, peed, looked at myself once more in the mirror, and trotted back to Edward's room.

"Bella, it is nine o'clock on your summer vacation. Why do you look as if you were about to go out for dinner?" He grinned, motioning for me to join him on the bed.

"Alice..." I started, but Edward seemed to already know.

"Ah. I see. But you really do look beautiful..." he brushed his lips across my cheek. It made me shiver. He then moved his lips down my jaw, breathing his heavenly scent into my mouth. My heart started beating a mile a minute.

"Maybe I should let Alice do my makeup more often if this is the response I get." I said, my breathing uneven.

Edward chuckled softly, then drew his mouth to the hollow beneath my ear. Ok, he was teasing me. This was not fair! He was planting butterfly kisses back down my jaw line, onto my neck...

Suddenly, I cupped his face in my hands and was kissing him more dangerously than he had in the meadow a few days ago.

I didn't know what made me do it. Alright, maybe I do. It was him, tempting me. That, or I just hadn't been able to kiss him yet today. Either way, my actions were still a little much. So sue me. I'm a hormonal teenage girl. I can't help it!

Edward's kissed me back, but pulled away much too soon with a look in his eyes that was somewhere between amused and confused.

"Bella... you know we must wait. Push me any farther and I might lose control. The wedding is only a few months away."

Ugh! He was such an idiot. I didn't want to sleep with him until our wedding night, but that didn't mean we couldn't do 'other' stuff. He seemed to think it was either kissing or sleeping together, with no fun in between. I really wanted to tell him that, but I couldn't picture the conversation in my head.

"_Edward? I want to rip off my shirt."_

"_Edward? I want you to stick your hand down my pants."_

"_Edward? Take off your boxers, I want to show you something..."_

Do you know how awkward that would be? I wish he could just let it happen without me having to ASK him to. Oh, well. That's what you get, I suppose, when you're dating a guy from 1901. I think they should change that saying," All the good-looking guys are either married or gay", into "All the good-looking guys are either married, gay, or an hundred and ten year old vampire gentleman."

But maybe...with Alice's help... this summer could turn out better than normal. Ideas started running through my head.

"What are you thinking?" Edward murmured as he ran his fingers through my silky (thanks, Alice) hair.

"I'm just thinking about... what's going to happen this summer." I smiled coyly.

"It should be fun. It's actually supposed to be quite hot out for the next few days..."

Oh, yeah. The weather wasn't going to be the only thing that was hot.


	2. Feet are good

"But... if it's sunny, you guys won't be able to go outside," I pouted, while Alice tightened the back of my strapless bikini. It took a lot of bribing on her part, including her helping me with my plan, but she eventually got the royal blue simwuit on me.

"Don't worry Bella," Alice assured me. "It will be cloudy with sunny periods. Not rain clouds, though. Plus we'll be in a place where humans don't regularly go."

That sounded reasonable. Well, it would have to be warm if I was in a bikini, which would be good. And even if it wasn't exactly 'warm', Alice made sure there were pads in it when she showed it to me for the first time. _"You can never be too certain. Because coldness isn't the only thing that makes them-"_ I'd cut her off. I knew what happened when girls got happy.

"Okay, Bella. Even if it's cloudy for most of the day, they won't be thick ones and they won't completely cover up the sun. So I got some sunblock for you..." she produced a brown bottle of Coppertone SPF 8 sunblock, and proceeded to spead it on me at vampire speed. Then she started spreading something else on me that smelled like bananas, coconut and pineapple.

"This is tanning lotion. I know you don't tan much, but a little boost never hurt." She explained as she plopped a thin white sundress over my head and handed me a pair of dark tinted sunglasses, I could practically see the designer label of the side of them.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Alice said as she saw me about to protest. "They're an old pair of mine I was going to throw away. They were too big for my face. Look cute on you though," she added with a wink. "Besides, all this stuff is part of the plan. They all serve a purpose!"

I nodded, as she had explained the plan to me before. My thoughts were cut off as I heard Emmett shout from downstairs.

"Bella! Alice! Hurry up, before Esme and Carlisle decide to come!"

I giggled and walked downstairs into Emmett's huge jeep.

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"C'mon, Bella," Rosalie muttered. "If you want Edward to crack you have to pull off your dress as if you were totally confident with your body. You can't shrug out of it and hide yourself."

"Yeah, Bells! I didn't even know you had a chest till I saw you in that! Edward doesn't know what he's been missing!" Alice added.

We were at a small, but beautiful, lake. The water was clear and the sand was smooth. It was surrounded by forest, and it would take a normal human hours to trudge through it all. I was glad for Edward's vampire speed; hiking wasn't really my idea as a vacation.

"Hurry up! Everyone's waiting to get in the water!" Rosalie said impatiently. I nodded, and slowly took off my sunglasses. I placed them on the log next to me, and slowly started sliding my dress up my stomach, trying my hardest to be 'sexy'. Hah. As if I, Bella Swan, could ever be considered sexy.

But as I whipped the dress over my head and shook my hair out from it's messy bun, I was soon aware of Edward's eyes on me. I put the sunglasses back on and faced forward, away from him. Because of the dark tint, he couldn't see me peeking at him from the corner of my eye. I smiled, and started toward the rest of the Cullens, wading in the water up to my lower abdomen. Ok, big mistake. The water was freezing. _Freezing. _Like so-cold-I-won't-ever-be-able-to-pull-off-sexy-while-my-teeth-are-chattering cold. I took a deep breath, splashed the others whith a brave smile on my face, then dashed back to my towel.

"Too cold, Bella?" Edward was suddenly standing beside me. I looked at him.

OH. MY. GOD.

It should be _illegal_ to look that hot!

His bronze hair was touseled, water droplets glistening on it like diamonds. His muscular build was phenomenal, god-like. Streams of lake water ran down his chest onto his abs, and ended at his black and dark red swim trunks. Then I looked at his feet, and gasped.

Come to think of it, I'd never seen Edward's feet before. I never even gave them a second thought. I mean, I always knew he _had_ them, I just never...

"What is it, love?" Edward questioned as he saw my surprise.

"Um.. nothing. You have...nothing." I stammered. What the hell? They were feet. They were perfectly normal. Ten toes, clipped toenails, totally fine. They didn't look weird. They looked like FEET.

"Is there something on my face?" He asked, feeling around his cheeks with his fingertips.

"No. I just noticed you had... feet..."

We were silent. Edward blinked. Once. Twice. He knit his brows together, as if he were deep in thought, and looked down.

Wow, Bella! Nice one! The plan is going perfectly. But what did I expect? I try to be seductive, we end up having and awkward conver sation about Edward's... feet...

"...Yyyeah." Edward looked at me like I was insane. Come to think of it, I probably was.

"Soo... how are those working for you?" I asked, like an idiot.

"Umm, pretty good, I'd say. I mean, They help me walk, so they've gotta be... good..." He was still looking at me like he was about to throw a straight jacked over my bikini and haul me away.

"Well, that's good. So anyway, I'm gonna go, you know, this way..." I gestured toward Alice sitting on a rock, waiting for the sun that was about to peek through the thin sheet of white clouds.

"You do that. I'll go this way..." he said, gesturing toward his brothers and Rosalie.

I stood up, nodded awkwardly at Edward, and stumbled off toward Alice, who had a grin on her face.

"You heard everything, I presume?" I said, laying down beside her.

"Mhm," she said happily. "I doubt the others did, though. Emmett and Jasper are wrestling, and Rosalie's refereeing."

I nodded, happy I wouldn't be subdued to their ridicule afterward.

"That was probably the most hilarious thing I've ever witnessed, by the way. Why didn't you stick to the plan? You know, lay on your towel, rub tanning oil on yourself...? Why did you bring up his _feet_, of all things?" She asked, amused.

"I can't really say, Alice," I shrugged. "I've never seen them. I don't know what happened, but I want this plan to work!"

"There is still a chance to redeem yourself, Bella. Listen to me."

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A few minutes later, the sun was out and I was laying on my towel, tanning. The back of my bikini was popped open so I didn't get tan lines. (ha-ha. That wasn't the ONLY reason.)

"Hello, Bella." Edward greeted as he sat, sparkling, in the sun next to me.

"Hey." I said casually. I knew Edward was staring at my greased up back (Alice sure didn't do things half-ass.)

"Rosalie and Emmett left to go... do something..." Edward said, though I could hear him smiling.

"Oh yeah?" I murmured. "How nice. And Jasper and Alice?"

"Jasper had to get something from the jeep. Alice is off somewhere, wondering 'Where she lost her desinger flip-flops'. It's getting her quite upset," he explained.

"BELLA!" I heard Alice scream. "COME HERE!"

I knew that was my cue. Acting completely oblivious, I sat up quickly before I could chicken out.

The back was still undone.

My bikini top was laying on the towel, and I was sitting up.

Still acting as if I had no idea what was going on, I screamed, "Alice?! Where are you?!"

"Er... Bella, you might want to..."

"Quiet Edward!" I said, facing him head-on, only blushing a little. I was getting better at supressing it. "I'm trying to hear what your sister is so frantic about!"

"I realize that, but..." I could tell he was trying not to look at my bare chest. He wasn't suceeding too well.

Innocently, I said, "Whoopsies! Tee-hee, Gotta put that on. See you later!" I brushed his lips briefly with my own, but my bare breasts brushed against his chest as I did so. With another angleic grin, I put the bikini on and dashed off to Alice.

Operation Get Edward Hard? HUGE sucess. I felt the evidence as I was saying my good-byes.


	3. All or Nothing

**(Dedicated to my little brother, who NEVER believed me...)**

I dashed over to Alice, huge grin plastered on my face. She looked more excited than I did.

"Well?!" she squealed. "How'd it go?!"

"Perfect," I beamed. "So, what's next?"

"Well, in one hour, Emmett and Rosalie will be 'trying something new' underwater," she shuddered. I had a pretty good idea what that meant. "And Jasper wants to go hunting. Just the two of us," he added with a wink.

Ugh. Was everyone in this family getting lucky except for me?

"...So we have 60 minutes to get you prepared. We're going to have to cram. If everything goes according to my plan, it will work. You up for it?" she grinned.

"Oh, most definately." I assured her. This was going to be good.

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EPOV

Bella was just too beautiful. I couldn't believe I had gotten so 'excited' when my innocent, sweet fiancee made a mistake. I would have to make sure things didn't get so out of hand next time she showed off her body to me; I would make a concious effort to keep her pure until our wedding night.

Just as I was making this decision in my head, Bella came walking back, her swimsuit now properly tied around her chest. Good. That would make things much easier.

"Sorry about that, Edward," Bella apologized.

"Oh, it was nothing. Just a little mistake!" I laughed nervously.

"Uh-huh!" she giggled. That giggle was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard, it just made me want to... _stop it, Edward_, I scolded myself. I really had to work harder.

Well, I suppose it didn't work _too _well. Because, after she leaned it for a little peck, I grabbed her and pulled her on top of me.

BPOV

_Haha_, I thought, as my thighs slid across either side of Edward's waist and I kissed him passionately. The plan is going great so far.

My hands slid up and down his chest, around his arms, and back up into his slightly-damp hair. I pulled my chestnut mane over my shoulder and let it dangle against the right side of my face; nothing ruined the mood better than loose, stringy hair all over the place.

I moved my mouth away to catch my breath, but his icy hands never left my body; one rested firmly on the small of my back while the other was clamped against the back of my neck. His mouth carressed my throat, jawline, earlobe... thank _God _Alice remembered to put pads in my simsuit, even though it wasn't exactly _cold_.

My oxygen break wasn't really working- my breaths were still jagged as his lips grazed my cheekbone, then eventually my temple. Actually, my breathing was getting to be embarrasingly loud. I would even go so far as to call it panting. The only way to stop these noisy breaths was to cover my mouth with something; my first pick was Edward's lips.

I grabbed the back of his head and forced his lips back up to meet mine, crushing them together. My mouth slowly opened, my tongue tracing Edward's now somewhat warm (from my hot breaths) lower lip.

He flipped us over so he was straddling _me_, most of his weight on his knees, and the wrist, forearm and hand still undeneath my neck. The sudden movement made me lightheaded, though I knew part of it was that I still hadn't gotten the air I needed. He somehow sensed this, and started the circuit with his lips again, murmuring "Breathe, Bella," when his lips found my ear.

I sucked in a large breath, hoping it would last long, and suprised him my knotting both hands in his hair and pushing my lips to his once again.

Unfortunately, he didn't seem to like the suprise too much. Actually, he rolled off me onto the sand beside my towel.

"You underestimate my self control, Bella," he explained. His voice didn't sound too even, either. "I thought you didn't want this. The only thing that's holding me back right now is your decision to wait. And as soon as you give me any reason not to believe that's what you truly want, say good-bye to my control altogether."

"I... I do want that," I told him. He still didn't seem to know the other things couples usually did. "I do want to wait. But... there are other things we can do-"

Edward suprised me by chuckling softly. "Bella, as I told you before, you underestimate my self-control. You may be able to stop half way, but I definately can't. If I don't stop while we're still kissing, I will never be able to."

Huh. So I guess he _did _know those other things. But if he couldn't do it, then how come he didn't jump me when my top was off today?

"It took everything I had. Believe me, so many scinereos were running through my head when you accidentally did that." He told me when I asked him about it.

"Maybe this is enough," I said, wiggling closer to him and snuggling into his chest as the afternoon sun slowly started edging toward the horizon.

Emphasis on the _maybe_. But I didn't tell him that part.

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"What?!" Alice shrieked when I told her what had happened the next morning. "You snuggled, then he brought you home? What about the plan?"

Last night hadn't been all bad. After watching the sunset, and Rosalie and Emmett 'finished up', we got into the Jeep and they drove me home to Charlie's. Edward told me the three of them were going to be hunting all night, so he wouldn't see me til the next afternoon. He kissed my forehead good-bye, and I went to bed.

Alice had woken me up at six (yes, six _a.m_., during the _summer_) to ask me what happened. Groggily, after brushing my teeth, I told her. And that was her response.

"Sorry, Alice. But you know what Edward said. It was either all or nothing for him." I yawned, and laid back into my pillows.

"So you're going to give up?" she demanded. "Bella, Cullen's don't give up, and in less than two months, you're gonna be one. Might as well get you used to it now."

"But Alice, I've gotta give up. I don't want to have sex, and it's either that or chaste kisses. I'm gonna choose the one that keeps my hymen intact."

"What's he gonna do, Bella, rape you? After all the foreplay, if he tries something funny, tell him no. It's not going to be like, _'Too bad, Bella, I've gotta have hot sexy sex with you. I don't care that it's sexual harrasment, but I warned you that I was going to do this_.' He'll probably say _'Please' _or something, but you are more important to him than his own needs. Don't worry about it." she assured me.

"Fine, Al. So what's the next plan?"

"Well, you know how everyone said the graduation looked better than a real night club? Well, since I did such a good job with that, I decided to rent a space for Friday night..."

"Oh no, Alice." I said warily. "_Please_ do not tell me you're opening your own night club."

She smiled, winked, and was out of my bedroom in a flash.

"ALICE _CULLEN_!" I screamed out after her.

**Ok, ok. The next chapter will be out in a flash. For starters, I'd like to know why I have 441 hits, 13 story alerts, 2 favourite stories, and only TWO reviews? The next chapter will be about Alice's one-night-only club. Now, I know there hasn't been much steam yet, but that's because all you awesome people haven't given me enough ideas! Please review if you want MORE chapters, LONGER chapters, and of COURSE more hotness! I love you all, so click that little button and leave me a nice review. I read them all, and reply to the long ones. **


	4. Liquid Liner

(Love the reviews guys. Keep em' coming! I have two new authors who help me with this story. They don't have an account on here, but they have been awesome. They have helped with lots of this story, and will continue to do so. Thanks guys!)

"Oh come on, Bella, it won't be THAT bad. Suck it up and let me get you into this outfit. And keep your eyes closed!" Rosalie ordered. (pic on profile.)

"But... But Rose... there will be strangers there. I at least want to know how it looks." I pleaded. But arguing with a pigheaded vampire pretty much guaranteed me a failure.

"I don't care! Now, put your arms above my head before I force you."

Scowling, I complied. How had I gotten into this? Alice had obviously been at her 'night club' all day, preparing for the opening (and closing) night.

Edward, Jasper, and Emmett were all in Jasper's room, playing video games and trying not to get their new designer jeans wrinkled (the first time they did this, a certain blonde had walked in and they had to face Rosalie's Wrath. That's right. It DESERVES capital letters), so I was stuck hanging out with Rosalie, in her room, surrounded by size 2 clothing. Oh, and with a blindfold on.

"If it isn't so terrible, let me see! Or am I going to wear this 'sleeping mask' all night? Where the hell did you get a sleeping mask, anyway? It's not like you really sleep..."

"That doesn't matter!" Rosalie snapped. "Anyways, the reason you can't see the dress is because you are going to discover how it looks form the family's reaction to it. Now, stick your arm through here..."

Ugh. This was going to be the worst night ever. Us girls had agreed to let the boys have 'a little bet', which meant they could pretend they were single and see how many numbers they could score by the end of the night. Honestly, I didn't see how this was going to help with the plan. (Was this plan B or C? Maybe it was even D...)

"Ok, now your other arm... bend it. No, the other way." Rosalie instructed.

"It doesn't bend the other way."

"Well, make it."

My arm was bent in the shape a waitress's is when she's carrying a tray of food, you know, palm up? Except my forearm was pressed against my body, and the tips of my fingers were through the armhole of the stupid dress, my palm still facing the ceiling. So you can see my dillema when trying to bend my arm 'the other way'.

"I can twist it..." I offered.

"Ugh. I don't want it to rip. I didn't spend a lot of money on this, but it IS cute. Plus, I might want to wear it after tonight. So," she explained, "You have two options. Spoil your suprise, or trust me bending your arm. It IS possible. But it's like lifting your ring finger up without lifting your pinkie. You can't do it without some force."

I sighed, and she took it as consentment. She, looking effortless as though she were placing a single strand of hair behind her ear, pulled my arm out through the sleeve. It REALLY didn't have to be this difficult.

"Well, it's about damn time! Take off your blindfold, and put this robe on. I do not want you seeing your outfit!" She handed me a silky pink robe, and through the sleek fabric, I could tell my dress was black. But that was it.

"Make-up time!" she announced, pulling a bag big enough to fit my entire wardrobe into. (Not literally, of course. It was about the size of the inside of an oven, though. Still pretty huge for a bunch of sticks and brushes the size of pencils.)

"Please, Rosalie, nothing too fancy-" She cut me off with a dissaproving look.

"Alice filled me in on your little plan, you know. She gave me specific details of what would happen. If you wear your hair straight and loose, without a speck of makeup on, he will still think of you as sweet, innocent Bella. But if you put up with me for half an hour, I can make you look like a sex kitten!" she seemed excited. I couldn't let her smile falter; I only saw one from her every once in a while. I sighed again, in defeat, and within a second she was lathering my face with about an inch of makeup everywhere.

"Wow. My skin is that bad, huh?" I couldn't keep all the dissapointment out of my sarcastic tone.

"Nope. It's hot, actually. This is just moisturizer, a thin layer of foundation, and a brush of powder. It just seems like a lot because you're not used to it. Don't worry." She reassured me.

When we got to the eyes, she pulled out something I vowed never to go near again- LIQUID EYELINER. No, not again. Not over what happened last week...

FLASHBACK..

It had been a regular day. I woke up and walked to the bathroom. Angela had come over the night before for some last one-on-one time together. She brought her kit of makeup, and she forgot some eyeliner. Thinking about how gorgeous she always looked with it on, I decided to give it a try. I mean come on- Angela wore it everyday. It couldn't be THAT hard.

I was wrong.

I actually did my right eye kind of evenly. Then, when I went onto my left, the angle was off so the line didn't go straight across my lashline. Oh well, I thought. I'll just fill the little gap in and even it out on the right eye.

This happened several times before my entire eyelids were covered and I looked like some sort of evil zombie. The offending makeup also happened to be '100 Waterproof! Doesn't wipe off, guaranteed!" To wear this expensive kind, you also had to buy a special makeup remover just for the one thing. Thanks, Angela. Forget the eyeliner but remember the eyeliner REMOVER.

As I got the phone to call her, I remembered why she'd left at nine last night. She had to go out of town for a week this morning.

The only way to get the stupid makeup remover was to buy the eyeliner WITH it, which cost (I know) FIFTY DOLLARS. Why the hell did Angela buy fifty dollar waterproof eyeliner? It's not like she did swim... shit. Competitive swimming. THAT'S why she needed the freaking expensive peice of crap. Well, when I thought about it, I had three options. 1. Stay locked up in my room for the week until Angela got back. 2. Buy the makeup remover. Easy, right? Actually, no. I spent the last of my money on takeout and spa equipment, which I would probably never use again, for last night. 3. Call Edward and ask him to keep me company, while putting up with him trying to buy the stupid stuff for me and me stubbornly refeusing. Stupid, rich vampire.

So, for the first three days, I followed my first plan. It was harder than it sounded. Edward called twice a day, not needing a reason for my sudden desire to be alone after I told him about the midol I was taking. (For all you confused, midol is a pill that helps girls out with their periods.) It wasn't a complete lie. I HAD had my period, but of course that wasn't the reason I wasnt with Edward. It was the eyeliner. The dreaded liquid eyeliner. Anyway, after putting myself into a 3-day quarantine, I completely forgot about the eyeliner the fourth day when I woke up. I showered the night before, so I pulled up my hair without looking in the mirror and brushed my teeth while looking for an outfit. So, somehow, the eyeliner didn't quite click in.

I drove over to the Cullen's to see Edward, still a little sleepy and not realizing why I hadn't been there for a while. I, unfortunately, am the kind of driver that doesn't look in her mirror, either. Yeah, I know. Stupid Bella, you're just asking for an accident. Anyway, when I pulled into the mansion, Alice came trotting out, big grin on her face, a drug mart bag in her hand. Emmett came out second, then Carlisle. Edward had also told me he was going to be hunting the night before; I guess that bit of information was shoved away in the same place the eyeliner was.

But as soon as I saw the box through the white plastic bag, I remembered. And, blushing, I grabbed it out of her hands (not without a flash in my face first) and ran into the house, straight into the first bathroom I saw.

It was terrible. I eventually got it all off, and when I walked out, Emmett was scowling about 'a bad shot'.

I made them swear to never tell the rest of the family about that incident. But it would forever be marked as one of the most humilating times of my life.

END OF FLASHBACK.

I actually jumped and shrieked when I saw the seemingly inoffensive little tube.

Then she smiled, and suddenly I was pinned down. Just as soon as it happened, I was sitting back up ,and she was dabbing pale pink eyeshadow over my lid. Pulling away to look at her handywork, she smiled.

"You can't look at the makeup, either!" she announced. (But you can! pic on profile.:D)

"And now for the hair..."

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I walked downstairs with Alice (who had returned home, just to go back to the club afterward. She wanted to 'make an entrance' with her porsche) and Rosalie, all of us in our outfits, to meet our signifacant other.

My breath caught in my throat when I saw what Edward was wearing. His jeans fit him nicely (not tight, not loose... just perfect) and had faded bleach marks on his knees. He wore a thin white cotton t-shirt under a button up forest green one (though he left it unbuttoned.) It was so... perfect.

Jasper and Emmett were also dressed nicely; Jasper wore black pants and a dark blue button up t-shirt, his actually buttoned except for the top two, and Emmett also wore jeans and a crisp white polo that was tighter than usual; I'm sure he was ready to impress all the 'ladies'. I knew that not a single one of them would have any problem with that tonight, with the way they (especially Edward!) looked.

I walked forward and Edward's eyes widened to their limits. He took my hand in his and wordlessly walked toward the full length mirror. My eyes went wide, too.

My hair was perfect, curled down my back.(pics on profile.) The short dress had a belt around the waist, making it look sophisticated but sexy. And I had to admit- Rosalie didn't do too bad a job with my eyes.

"Shall we go?" Edward suggested, fingering a loose curl. I smiled, nodded, and headed off to the Volvo.

"Hah, not so fast, my love," he said, grabbing my elbow.

I turned around to give him a confused look, but realization hit me when I saw his black vanquish in the garage, windows down.

"I think this is considered a special event," he mused while opening the passenger door for me. "Especially when you see what the name is..."

The last part was said under his breath, but I swore I heard it.

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The car ride was awful. Well, not exactly awful. Edward pulled over once and snatched me up onto his lap so he could kiss me for a few minutes, but other than that all he did was run his leg, slowly, up and down my exposed thigh to the hem of my dress. Seriously. The awful part was trying to stick to the plan and not_ rip off _my dress right there in the expensive car. But Alice's vision was the only thing keeping me from ruining it all right then and there.

So I innocently crossed my legs and turned on the radio to hear, coincedentally, Colbie Calliat's song playing.

_Cuz every time I see your bubbly face,_

_I get the tinglies in a silly place._

I switched it off quickly and pressed my legs closer together, trying to ignore the vibration that was happening at the dreadully long stop light. Edward, not being an idiot, smirked.

Yeah, not an idiot. Right. He still thought the bikini top incident was a mistake.

EPOV

This was getting extremely hard to endure. I couldn't help myself. I reached over and...

( I know, cliffy. But I have to go. I'll update first thing tomorrow morning, cuz right now my chihuahua is barking and whining and I HAVE TO GO. ugh! Anyway, see you all soon. And REVIEW!!)


	5. Whore Knee Bella's

(A bigggg thanks to my beta readers. You guys have helped me with like 3 chapters...I don't know where I'd be without ya. Kisses!)

"What the _hell _Edward!" I screamed, pushing his hand out from under my dress. Of course my strength couldn't have pushed him away, but he got the idea and quickly put his hand back on the steering wheel.

Actually, I wouldn't have stopped him if Alice hadn't driven by at that exact moment, peered out her window, and glared at me.

"I- I'm sorry, Bella. You just looked so..." he stammered. Hah! The plan was working! In the words of Alice Cullen, _Guys always want what they can't have_. So all I had to do was deny Edward 'playtime', and eventually he would want to. It seemed stupid to me, but all of _my_ plans (pretty much just come out and ask him) had backfired. So Alice was my last hope if I wanted Edward to start treating me like a woman.

"Hm. Well, good thing you stopped," was all I said, and pulled my denim jacket over my lap. I turned on the stereo, and soft classical music filled the car. Thank God.

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"Thank you all so much for coming. Unfortunately, only about 200 people will fit in this club, so most of you will have to go. If you made reservations in advance, please talk to Tommy-" Alice gestured to a large, scary-looking man "- and he will let you in. Other than that, please line up behind the velvet rope. So, please enjoy... Whore Knee Bella's!"

My mouth dropped open and I stood, frozen in place, while a crowd of excited young adults rushed towards the thumping club. I turned on my heel and walked back to the car, a blush seeping on my face. Even all this time of practising hiding it wasn't going to work this time- it was, without a doubt, even more humiliating than when Edward denied me sex a few months ago. It was worse than when Charlie had a sex talk with me. I would even rather tell Renee I was getting married 100 times over than step foot into that bar. As I reached for the door handle, I felt something cool grab my hand and pull it away.

"Let go, Edward. I am getting the hell out of here." I said in fury.

"Oh, come on Bella. It's just a name. When you read it, it doesn't even make sense." He tried to comfort me. It wasn't working.

"Yeah, but people are going to say it out loud. I don't want the whole town knowing I'm horny!" I felt tears brimming my eyes, but quickly battered them away. Rosalie would slit my throat if I ruined the stupid eyeliner.

"Oh, Bella- wait, did you say _knowing_ or thinking?" His face was interested and amused. Crap, I hope I didn't let it slip.

"Um, I said thinking. Thinking. Of course I'm not... I don't want..."

He didn't look convinced, but he let it slide. "Well, if you aren't actually, then why does it matter?"

"Well, it's... it's just-"

"Come, Bella. I hope there's still room left inside. I don't think I made a reservation. I hope they still let us in..." he smiled, and I couldn't help but laugh.

33333333333

Ugh. Clubs were fun for about half an hour. You know, catch up with friends, finish one drink, dance a little. Well, I wasn't exactly dancing, more like shaking my ass with Alice and Rosalie with a glass in my hand. They were holding fruity drinks as well, but of course they weren't drinking them. I actually didn't know where they spilled the cocktails, but every few minutes, there would be less and less in the glass.

I slammed my empty cup onto a table and sat down. These stupid heels hurt my feet. I could walk in them, suprisingly, but I still wasn't used to the height. I was starting to sweat. Angela, Jessica, and another girl named Kaitlyn sat down next to me, and I noticed they were sweating as well. Nasty.

We all pulled our shirts out and snapped them back, trying to let some air in, but it wasn't working. Kaitlyn, luckily, had also worn black so you couldn't see it so well on us. But Angela had worn pale blue and Jessica had worn a peachy- orange. It was definately noticable.

We all were polite and tried to hide it, making small talk.

"Uhh... so, Bella, did you remember to bring my eyeliner?" Angela inquired. I gulped. I didn't want to tell her that in my fury, I had thrown it out my window, onto the cement, and drove my truck over it.

"Err, sorry, Ang. But I actually-"

"Lent it to me!" Alice came trotting by, handing Angela a thin black tube. "Hope you don't mind. I only used it once!"

"No, that's fine, Alice." she said, smiling, and put the liquid liner in her clutch purse.

Wow. Alice was sure a life saver.

"Bella, Angela, could you come here a minute? I just need to ask you something real quick..." Alice said, pulling us away to another table.

"Listen, Angela. We all kind of let the guys do this stupid bet tonight. See, the whole time we've been living together, they've all claimed they could 'pick up' the most girls. So tonight, we're letting them finally know the truth. Don't tell Jessica- even though she knows we're all together, she obviously won't care and will try to hook up with any one of them. And don't tell Kaitlyn, either. She doesn't really know any of us, so we won't want anything to hesitate giving them her number. Ok? Ok. Let's watch." She said this quickly, but Angela and I got the idea. With a nod, we got up and walked over to the other girls.

"Hey, guys!" I greeted them. "We're heading down to the dance floor- wanna join us?"

"Um, sure, ok," Kaitlyn said. She stood up, followed by Jessica. One by one, we all trailed behind Alice until, instead of going to the dance floor, she walked into the ladie's room.

"Here guys," she said, handing us each a bar of something. "Just rub it on your body, like a deoderant. It stops the sweating."

We all took it greatfully, and even though I knew Alice didn't sweat, she still used one on herself. I guess she didn't want us to think she thought we all had a persperation problem.

"Alright, out we go!" she said cheerfully, and bounded back out.

We walked to the seating area to find Emmett flirting with a woman in her late twenties.

"Sure thing. I'll call you," Emmett said to a blonde girl with a wink.

These were the standings: Jasper- 8, Edward- 9, and Emmett- 2.

Why, you ask? This is a typical conversation each of them have.

xxxx

Jasper: You seem so shy, but it's almost like you want people to hear what you have to say.

Girl: You understand me completely. You're like, the only guy that gets me!

Jasper: You know, you can call me any time to talk about this kinda stuff.

Girl: I would love that! hands over number

xxxx

Edward: smiles, dazzles them, does that unfair smoldering thing

Girl: Ug.. gargh...hmmp...

Edward:pulls out cell phone Number?

Girl: Types number into his cell, hands it back, Edward walks away

xxxx

Emmett: Hey, hot stuff!

Girl: looks halfway between scared and harrassed

Emmett: smacks her ass I would HIT THAT in an INSTANT!

Girl: just walks away

xxx

Actually, the only reason Emmett had gotten the two numbers is because one of the girls was quite... 'unfortunate' looking, sitting alone in a corner. She just about cried with happiness when Emmett even said a word to her. The other girl was the blonde one. She happened to be a feminist, and gave Emmett her office number to come talk to her about 'how to respect women'. Emmett got the wrong impression.

Jasper, using his power, could easily see what the girl was feeling and work with that. For example, if she felt tired, Jasper would say something like 'Night clubs always tire me out. I'm not really into the party scene.' Then the girl would think Jasper 'totally got her', and handed over her number.

Edward had to say one word. Well, one time he had to repeat 'number' because the music was too loud. But other than that, his eyes pretty much made every girl swoon.

Alice told me that Emmett was going to win, using her foresight. She didn't quite know why, only that Emmett walked out of the club with 39 little pieces of paper. Then her vision ended.

As I was walking to the bar to get another drink (I didn't know if Alice was licensed or not, but knowing her, she probably got what she wanted from a male administrator), I tripped and fell over something. I looked up to find a hot -not Edward hot, but still god damn sizzlin hot- guy standing there.

"Umm... hi," I said, then grabbed my purse and stood up. Did I always have to look like an idiot? Especially in front of fortunate-looking men?

He didn't look quite like a man; more like an 18 or 19 year old. But still. Holy hell.

He held out a hand to me, and I took it greatfully. It was hard to hoist yourself up in heels and a short skirt while one hand was holding a bag.

When I got up, he still didn't let go. "Matt," he introduced himself, and I found myself blushing. I looked around hurredly to find Edward, only to see him dazzling a pretty redhead.

"Bella," I said.

"I'm so sorry for knocking you over earlier, I-" his face was suddenly filled with realization. "Wait. Did you say Bella? As in, 'Whore Knee Bella' "?

"No! No!! I... no.: I said, shaking my head hurredly. This was exactly the thing I was dreading!

"Well, even if it was about you... I wouldn't mind helping you out," he offered cocking an eyebrow. I tried my hardest to keep down my last drink. Can you say sleezeball?

"Haha. Well, sorry about that. I've got to get back to my boyfriend," I explained, still not totally comfortable with the word fiancee. I glanced at Edward, who was now being crowded by a group of 20 year olds. I smiled, knowing maybe he would win the bet after all, and Alice and Rosalie would know Edward was the hottest.

"Hmm.. looks like you aren't his _only _girlfriend," he said. " And if he's allowed more than one girlfriend, doesn't that mean you're allowed more than one boyfriend?"

Aww... how cute. I felt bad rejecting this hot guy. Well, not really. Hah.

"Sorry... it isn't like that," I tried to explain. But he wasn't having any of that.

"That hardly seems fair. You deserve better. A guy like me would never cheat on you."

Harmless, flirty fun. Where was Alice? Maybe with Angela. I wonder what Angela would be like drunk...

"You know, you are one of the cutest girls I've ever seen."

"Why thank you. You aren't so bad yourself," I said with a wink. That new Kaitlyn girl seemed nice. I loved her shoes. I don't think I would last more than a few minutes in three inch stilettos, though.

"Looks aren't my only good quality."

"Oh yeah? What else do you have going for you?" I saw Emmett in a corner with Rosalie, thinking hard about something. Maybe it was his plan for getting all those phone numbers.

"Well, girls say I'm great at kissing..." and before I knew it, he was kissing me. Not a passionate kiss. A huge, sloppy, french kiss. With lots of tongue, I might add.

"What the _hell_?" I heard Matt scream. He was suddenly 10 feet away from me, lying on the floor with a bloody nose.

"You stay away from her. If I ever see you even remotely _close_ to Bella, your nose won't be the only thing broken." Edward promised.

"Hah. You caught me off guard. Cullen, right? Yeah, the girls have been talking about you all night. You and your brothers. Well, Bella deserves better than you, _player," _Matt sneered.

"I wouldn't be so cocky about your fighting skills. But if you don't mind, I will be taking my _fiancee" _- he obviously didn't have as much of a problem saying it- "away now. Have a good night."

He dragged me over to the table where Emmett, Rosalie, Kaitlyn, Jessica, and Angela were sitting. I smiled as I sat down.

"Hey Bells. Go fix your lipgloss. It's all... smudged." Rosalie suggested, and I just rolled my eyes. I pulled out a compact and wiped off the offending makeup that Matt had ruined.

"I assume you saw everything?" I questioned, and they all nodded. Edward looked grim.

"Hm. Where's Jasper and Alice?" Edward asked, trying to see them, smell them, hear them...

"They... they left. I think Alice left something in her car..." Angela stammered. Emmett let out a booming laugh, and Rosalie giggled. Kaitlyn and Jessica looked confused.

"Jasper gave me the numbers he got tonight. That brings me up to 19," he said with a grin. I guess Jasper had gotten 16 numbers before he left. Not bad. But he obviously wouldn't care about a stupid bet when he could go have sex in a Porsche.

"How about you, Edward? How many numbers?" Emmett challenged. Edward took out his cellphone and counted all of the new entries he had recieved. "20. I ran into a bachelorette party..."

"No! Not fair!" Emmett complained. "Everyone knows nothing turns girls on more than watching their friend get married!"

"Haha," I said. "Too bad. Well, keep playing!"

"Yeah, lets go dance now!" Jessica offered. All the girls got up and walked to the packed, smelly thumping dance floor.

We all shook our hips back and forth, dancing like probably the sluttiest girls there. The funniest part was that none of us cared. We stood in a group, shaking our asses with our hands in the air, smiling and laughing. We laughed and gossiped and were oblivious to the eyes on us (and not just men's, either. I guess we looked pretty damn good.)

Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands on my waist, guiding them from side to side. I felt a cool, sweet breath on my neck, and I turned my face so our lips were just inches apart. My head whirled as he kissed my jawline.

"I never knew you could dance," he murmured. Even though the club was loud, his voice was crystal clear.

"Neither did I," I breathed.

EPOV

Bella's body was moving against my chest, my stomach, my waist... it was also grinding a 'special area' down there. The smell of her skin was filling my senses, and my only desire at that time was to be with her, alone.

"You know... I don't think I can last the rest of the song," I admitted.

"Well, Carlisle and Esme are at that hospital banquet. We've got a big, empty house all to oursleves," she suggested slyly.

"Good thinking," I congratulated. "I just hope I can last the car ride."

And with that, I took her hand and led her out to the Volvo.

BPOV

As soon as we pulled into the Cullen driveway, my door was open and Edward scooped me up in his arms. I locked my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. He was pressing his palms against my back, supporting my weight. I couldn't kiss him enough. My hands cupped his face and I tried to kiss him faster, barely noticing when my back was suddenly on a golden bed and Edward's legs went on either side of mine. I braided my fingers through his bronze, silky hair and never broke the kiss until I came up for breath. Edward took advantage of this moment and undid my belt at lightning speed, then threw it on the ground next to us. I started undoing his first button, but before I could even pull it apart, he was already bare chested. Apparently he couldn't go at human speed.

I rubbed my hands along the icy planes of his chest, down his abs, and eventually landed at his belt buckle. Before I could get too many ideas, Edward flipped us over so I was on top of him. This allowed him better access to my shirt. Okay, so we were going to get to second base...

Oh, God. I didn't remember until I was already in my strapless bra and underwear that I had been wearing a dress. I mean, usually I would still have my pants on...

Then, as his marble fingers moved towards my bra- with a quick, reasurring glance from me- I realized I didn't care. I _wanted _this. I wanted _him_.

Instead of undoing the clasp, he grazed his fingers over the top of the bra, making my panties wet and my nipples harden. But I knew my nipples weren't the only thing that were hard.

I sat up, still on top of him, feeling his erection underneath me. Then, sitting slightly behind it, I started grinding up and down, placing my hands on his chest to support my weight. Edward looked suprised for a second, but the shocked expression almost immediately turned to one of pleasure. I kept putting pressure against it with the front of my vagina, moving up and down. I heard him moan.

"Bella... don't stop. Faster." he commanded, and I was all to willing to comply.

I felt his fingers grip my waist, stronger than usual, helping me grind at a speed more comfortable for him.

I murmured his name softly while rubbing circles on his torso with my thumbs, and I felt him tense up and groan. He bucked his hips a little, and I felt a wetness underneath me. With his final, satisfied "mmm," I collapsed on top of him, kissing his neck.

"I love you," he said in a voice that was filled with love and sincerity. It made me want to cry. Of course I didn't, though.

"And I love you. More than anything else," I promised, though I knew my voice wasn't as beautiful as his.

"I know you do. And Bella?"

"Mmmm?"

"Tomorrow it's my turn." he announced, and I brushed his lips with mine once more before drifting off to sleep.


	6. WAR!

(WHO's READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER?? HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS! I SPENT EXTRA LONG ON THIS, SO YOU BETTER LIKE IT. NO STEAM, JUST A LOT OF SCENE-SETTING FOR NEXT CHAPTER.)

I lazily rolled over, expecting to see Edward laying next to me, smiling his crooked little smile.

He wasn't.

I stretched, reaching my arms up over my head until I heard Edward's cell phone. He must of forgotten it, wherever he was.

Hah. Of course I wasn't going to answer. That would be a total invasion of privacy...

It rang again. It was probably Emmett, or something. Maybe Carlisle...

The final ring. It took everything I had not to take it. Wow. I am the best girlfriend. You know, I should probably be getting a medal or something. I just...

Next thing I knew, I was flipping the phone open and typing in his voicemail password. Ya know, I always thought with all those university degrees, Edward would be smarter than to give out his passwords to everything. What had his words been after we told everyone about the wedding? "I don't have anything to hide from you. What's mine is yours". Suffice to say, I had not given him passwords to any of my things. I think he took a little offense to that, but hey! If I have an e-mail form my mom, or whatever, asking about my period or something, I most certainly do not want my fiancee reading about it.

"Message from number 555-9863. To listen, press 1." The operator said in that painfully boring voice. I clicked it quickly, anxious to see who had called him. I tried to convince myself what I was doing was perfectly okay. Edward had practically said it.

"Umm, hey Eddie, it's Jessica. Yeah, so I gave you my number yesterday, and I didn't get a call back. So, ya know, call me whenever... 555-9863... yep. I mean, I know you're with Bella, and everything, so I totally understand why you might need a change. Like... hello, Mr. Obvious! Welcome to Plainsville! Yeah. Heehee! 555-9863. I'll be home all day, so you can pop by if you want... I have a big empty bed that's practically begging for another person. See yeah, sweetie!"

The operator's voice came back. "To erase this message, press seven. To save it, press nine. ... Are you still there? To erase this message, press seven. To save it, press nine. ... Are you still there? To erase-"

I closed the phone without pressing anything, my body filling with rage. I know, I know, Alice had told me that this was the plan yesterday. But honestly! _Eddie_? Even I wasn't allowed to call him Eddie! And _sweetie_... that just crossed the line.

I honestly couldn't have cared less that she didn't really like me. Big deal. It wasn't like I was going to see her after my wedding anyways.

I was contemplating ways to kill her without getting arrested when Alice bursted in.

"Jazzy Wazz. Jazzy-_freakin_-Wazz. I can take 'little pixie' and 'hyperactive' but then she had to go and say 'I can do stuff for you that she can't'. I'm sorry, but Jessica Stanely is going _down_."

I had to smile. Jess had, apparently, called Jasper as well. And I was counting down the seconds until...

"Emmie Bear?? Who the hell does that bitch think she is?!" Rosalie exclaimed, bursting into my room.

"It was Alice's idea!" I screamed, not wanting mine and Rosalie's truce to end over Jessica skank Stanely.

"I didn't think she'd call here. I just wanted the guys to flirt with her, and her embarrass herself in front of everyone. I don't even know how she got the guys' numbers..." Alice explained.

"Where the hell are they, anyway? It's not like them to just leave without saying anything, and leave their phones right next us. Hah, it's almost like they _wanted _us to hear..." I trailed off as comprehension filled all of our faces.

"Sons of bitches! Sorry Jasper, Emmett, and Edward's moms." Rosalie added quickly. "The nerve!! What is wrong with them?"

"I have no idea. But we have to get them back. And right now, they are..." Alice closed her eyes for a moment. "Wow. They are really wanting us to get angry. Their agenda tonight is switching from gambling to golfing to... a_ strip club_? Oh, _hell_ no. They should have thought about this. Everyone knows girls always come out on top. And this is war."

Later that day...

"Hey guys, how did you not notice the guys leaving? You don't sleep or anything, so how could they sneak out?" I pondered as I looked through racks of clothing.

"Haha. Well, Bella, we really should have figured it out. They said we needed 'girl time' today, so they _insisted _we go hunting together, then hang out with you all day. They knew when we came back, the first place we'd go would be to check our cell phones... and they 'coincidentally' left theirs right next to ours, with a bleeping voicemail blinker on the side. And of course we checked it... which was when we came rushing in your room. It's really not that good of a plan; we figured it out pretty quick. Emmett must have been the mastermind behind it all," Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"I don't think they even had to pay Jessica to do it for them... but I wonder why they'd do it? Do they _want _to sleep on the couch?" Alice giggled when she thought about how stupid that had sounded. "I meant that figuratively, of course." Her face was abruptly serious. "Oh my god, maybe they're getting tired of us. Maybe Jasper doesn't want to have sex with me anymore!"

"Doubt it. Well, our plan isn't original, but still hilarious. Have you guys gotten your outfits yet?" Rosalie glanced at our piles of clothing; Alice's almost blocking her line of vision, and mine with only a few articles in it.

"Okay, one, Bella... That isn't the least bit slutty. Edward won't be jealous if your dancing around in that in front of other guys. Try this," she suggested and handed me a skirt that looked like it could fit my 7-year-old cousin along with a lacy...thing that, in my opinion, didn't have enough substance to even pass for a bra.

"Er.. Thanks, Rose," I said and grabbed them. The three of us walked into the changing rooms and looked at how our outfits turned out.

Mine, miraculously, fit around the waist... but I couldn't say the same for the length. It only grazed the bottom of my butt, and the "shirt"... well, it pretty much covered only what was needed, legally, to walk down the streets.

I walked out, my cheeks pink, to see how my soon-to-be sisters looked. Of course, they looked totally hot. They made slutty look good.

I, however, made slutty look... slutty.

"Damn, Bella, you look _fine_!" Alice said as she smacked my butt.

"Hah! Right!" I replied, shaking my head.

"No, Bella, I don't care what you say. You are getting that outfit, along with some fishnets and three inch heels, and we are _going _to be dancing at the strip club tonight."

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I didn't want to get out of the Porsche. I liked my tracksuit I had on. I didn't want to take it off backstage, then come out and dance around a pole and on top of other guys. I wanted to keep my body covered and go to sleep. I mean, it was ten o'clock!

"Ready, Bells?" Rosalie asked. It wasn't really a question; she was going to drag me up there no matter what my answer was.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Which was not ready at all.

"Great! Let's go guys, the poles a'waitin!" Alice practically bounced as she dragged me into the back door of "Foxy", a really high-end strip club. Well, as high end as they come, I guess.

Oh, god. This was going to be the most embarrassing night of my life.

"Okay, so, makeup time!" Rosalie said as she pulled out some crappy dollar store makeup they kept there.

"Hurrah..." I said sarcastically.

"Oh, lighten up. This'll be fun!" Alice squealed.

"Right. Giving lap dances to creepy strangers is my idea of a party," I grumbled as they started caking the makeup on. They did the same on themselves before "Party Up" by Hilary Duff started blasting on the speakers.

"This isn't stripper music!!" I exclaimed.

"I know. You won't be 'stripping'. You'll be _dancing_," Rosalie corrected.

"Alright. Now, tracksuits off..." Alice instructed. "And start walking. Pretend you don't even notice the guys. Now, we will be dancing on two people each tonight, one really hot, and one old, fat and creepy. Find one of each, now GO!"

We had practiced this. Right, left, right. Grab the pole. Spin. Whip your hair around. Alright. Now, find a super hot guy, and try to pretend a certain pair of golden eyes aren't staring at you right now...

Jackpot! Bachelor party. Us girls all found someone in the group and started giving them a lap dance, smiling the whole time. Dollar bills were handed to me.

Halfway through the song, we found a group of three fat, smelly and hairy guys smoking cigars, and we agreed to go to them next. Holding my breath and trying not to wince, we sauntered over, brushing against our vampire sweethearts along the way as if we didn't even notice them.

"Hey, baby. The party don't have to end after this song. I got a trailer a few miles out..." The guy suggested to me.

Rosalie and Alice were having a similar problem with their guys, though of course they had no reason to be scared. However, they still seemed to be a little freaked out at the pevertedness that was happening. I felt a hairy, calloused hand start to grab my boob the same time I saw a hand on each of my sisters', and suddenly, the sleazy guys were on their asses and Edward, Jasper, and Emmett had each scooped us up.

"Put me down, Emmett! I can handle myself!" I heard Rosalie scream.

"Yeah, seriously, Edward." I added.

"Serves you right for trying to piss us off! Jessica _Stanely_? A _strip club_?" Alice seethed at Jasper.

"Um, it's called _bachelor party_, ladies. We were just having fun with you guys earlier, and we wanted to have a guys' night tonight." Emmett explained.

"Yeah, who would have thought you girls would do _this_, though?" Jasper asked.

"We didn't even recognize you guys at first... we were holding our breath this whole time because of the cigar smoke and smelly guys. I guess that's why we didn't smell you..." said Emmett.

"Oh, so even though you didn't think it was Rosalie, you were still having dirty thoughts about her..." Edward grinned.

"Emmett Cullen! Were you having dirty thoughts about another woman?" Rosalie snarled.

"No, because it was you!" Emmett explained.

"But you didn't think it was me!"

"Well that just means... uhh..." He looked at us for help.

"Uh...it means that your bond is so strong that even though he didn't know it was you he was still attracted to you?" Jasper said it more like a question.

"Bull-_shit_!" Rosalie growled, along with a few more curse words I'd never even heard of and a smack on the head for Emmett.

I just realized that we were all still being held bridal-style and everyone was staring at us.

"Put me down, Edward," I said, even though he didn't loosen his grip on me.

Also, why the hell wasn't he talking to me? He hadn't said a word to me today!

I tried to make him say something.

"Uhh, Edward?" I asked. All he did was raise is eyebrows at me. "Um..." I couldn't think of anything to say. I finally decided on "Hi."

Edward kissed me lightly and set me on my feet, as did Emmett and Jasper. Everyone in the bar turned their heads to the new dancers swinging around the pole.

"About damn time asshole! You know I could have taken care of those guys. Jesus..." Rosalie said as she straightened out her...uhh... 'ensemble'.

"Not without exposing us. Don't you think people would wonder what was going on if an 18 year old girl took down three bikers? So, if you think about it, we just saved your hides." Jasper said as he slung an arm around Alice. "By the way, nice outfits, girls. You could wear them more often..." That earned him a kick in the shin from Alice.

"Right. I will be burning them once we get home," Rosalie decided as she found our tracksuits and started putting hers on.

"Uhh..." Edward started fumbling with his hands in his pockets.

"What is it, Edward?" I asked.

"We were actually thinking about... staying a while..." Emmett said, ruining whatever truce him and Rosalie had had a second ago.

"Is that so? Huh. Well, I think it's silly how we have a bed, anyway, seeing as how we don't sleep. I can give it away to good will. Isn't that a great idea, Emmett?" Rosalie said as she stared daggers at her husband.

"No..."

"And why not?"

"Because we need a bed for... for..."

"For NOTHING! Do you hear me? Nothing. That bed is gone!" Rosalie screamed as Alice, Jasper, Edward and I all stared. This was better than TV.

"You know what, Rosalie? I think you have the right idea. Who needs a bed anyway, right, Jasper?" asked Alice. Jasper looked terrified and sad at the same time.

"Um... we do...?"

"No, we don't."

"We don't..." He frowned. At least he didn't put up a fight.

"And you know what Bella? You can sleep at your own house. Alice and I will come over while you sleep, then when you wake up we'll bring you back to ours. Simple! Now all the poor people will have nice big beds to sleep on. Don't you love doing charity work, Bella?"

"Oh yeah, it just makes my heart melt. Now you'll have more space in your room, Edward, without that huge, comfy, springy bed in the way." I said with a smile.

"I don't need lots of space in my room!" Edward said, a little too loudly. I smiled, mostly because the only reason he'd talked to me tonight was for that reason. No playtime.

"Ha ha, Edward! We win the bet!" Jasper and Emmett exclaimed, jumping around. "You can't go more than a day without talking to Bella while seeing her!"

"Nice bet, guys," I said while rolling my eyes.

"Anyhoo, you men have fun tonight." Rosalie said as she grabbed Alice and I and walked off.

"What do we do now? First, they get skanky Jessica to call. Then they go to a strip club. _Then_ they say they want to stay a while longer!" Alice said, zipping up her tracksuit.

"I think I might have an idea," Rosalie said, grinning mischeviously at me. "Bella, did you happen to grab that guy Matt's number yesterday?"

(That's it! REVIEW!! I will seriously love everyone forever if I get a bunch of reviews. They totally make me happy, and they only take a few seconds. So, if you want another longer, funnier chapter out quickly, then just jot a few words down in the review box and click ok. Hope you liked it!)


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